I am blessed to work as Co-Director for a faith-based, not-for-profit called E-PRO Plus (go to www.EProPlus.org). E-PRO Plus provides mentoring plus the teaching of life skills for boys ages 10 to 18 who do not have an active father-figure in their life. Our goal is to come alongside these boys, doing our best to fill the fatherless gap by affirming them as loved children of God. Ultimately, we want to lead them in life to Jesus Christ as their heavenly father.
Recently, I presented a “Life Lesson” for the boys at one of our group meetings (what we call E-PRO Plus Huddles). A simple lesson, nothing extraordinary. But ironically, I had an epiphany of my own driving home from the meeting – this is a life lesson for people of ALL ages! And what was the title of this life lesson?
4 Words That Can Change Your Life
Really? 4 simple words that can change a person’s life? What could those 4 words be?
Can you help me?
In teaching this life lesson to our boys, or let me say, “young men”, I wanted them to understand how they needed to never be afraid to ask this question. I shared with them that as “men”, we have this natural instinct, this strange belief, that tells us in order to be a “real man” we have to be strong, in control, self-sufficient and yes, beyond having to ask for help. So, we put on this mask that we think makes us appear to always be in control, a mask that says we ALWAYS know what to do and/or what is best to do. And the real truth is…we don’t always know what to do, and certainly not what is best to do.
I went on to share with the boys that if we don’t know something, or how to do something, and we have to ask for help, that’s okay! While we might be afraid that asking for help will reflect on us in a negative way, asking for help is not a sign of weakness, but more a sign of maturity. It simply says, “I don’t know everything and I want to learn! Can you help me?” And yes, I shared with the boys, “Guys, I know, we never really want to admit that we need help. It’s just not part of our DNA, of who we are.”
So, what was the life lesson(s) for these boys? Two points. One, real men, mature men who are comfortable with who they are, are not controlled by their vulnerabilities. Real men know and accept the fact that everyone in life needs help. So, you should never be afraid to ask for help. And two, when we do ask for help, we need to be the very best listener we can be. Why? Because when we LISTEN, we LEARN. And so, in a 20 minute discussion, we talked about this simple life lesson and 4 words that can change anyone’s life.
As I drove home, thinking about our boys and quietly praying for them, I reminded myself that yes, at 73 years of age, I, too, never should be afraid to ask that simple question – Can you help me?
And then it dawned on me…I ask that question EVERY day when I pray to God. More than ever in these turbulent times, I need God’s help to guide me and help me to be the very best version of myself.
How about you? Have you asked for help lately? Have you asked God,
Can you help me?
It just might change your life.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path.” Proverbs 3:5-6
